Haihhhh...

what has become of me. everytime go out go out go out. spend spend spend. then take money from family. i have done nothing worthy and useful here. the worse thing is got plenty of work to do but all just dump aside. skip classes. sleep late, wake up even later. screw up tests and continuous assesments.

as if coming here to waste time and indulge in easy peasy life and luxuries, which my parents wont even get to. useless people like me myself and i shouldnt be allowed to live, seriously i think im just wasting the resources without contributing anything.

i hate how i cannot control myself. its as if i cannot breathe here, outta uni only can, but i know its merely an excuse i made up for myself. at least if i stop schooling, i'll be working and won't depend on my family on money matters anymore.

each month, i spend more and more and more.

retail theraphy works but i think its getting overboard as i cannot control myself anymore. when i found a reason not to buy something my mind will quickly come out with an excuse to counter my reason for not buying.

then end up, need or don't need also buy. nice or not nice also buy. zhong zhi is just buy buy buy la. and i'm usually happy when i get something for myself doesn't matter whether got use anot.

money is draining fast.

and i certainly cannot achieve the 21st target nemore =/