grateful for all that happened; for all that i have today,

I'm feeling a lot of feelings these days. -__-

Too much emotion for me to digest, today especially. But no complaints, at least I get to  redeem my sanity in the midst of a pool of academic related work, and to realize that I can still  feel so much emotions is a blessing, heh. 

Had to re-watch Bend It Like Beckham for one of my subjects and man, I don't know if its just me or my bleeding vajayjay, but I felt so much emotion throughout T___T Glad that it has got happy ending otherwise I'd be typing vague emo meaningless lines here, heh #pms.

Oh wait a minute, I just googled for the coach's name and wow this film was made in 2002? That's almost a decade ago! And to think that it's still relevant to be used for today's class... just makes me wonder that are we not progressing to get far enough from the issues portrayed in the film? 

Hmmm, food for thought. 

Anyway, the main reason why I'm feeling so much emotion tonight is because of this :  

" Hi guys,

First of all, I wanted to say sorry for not posting anything new lately. I’ve been busy with and stressed out about a lot of things in my real life. Which brings on my next topic of discussion. 

I'm about to lose my house. 

My dad broke the news to us half a year ago and my family and I have been trying to do everything we can to prevent this from happening. But we’re now at the point where it might actually happen. As much as I hoped it wouldn’t come to this, I am now desperate enough to ask the online community for help.

I know very few people would want to buy art over important necessities like food and clothes, but I am honestly in no position to be ashamed of asking this of you now that I’m about to lose such a necessity myself. 

I have no right to be ashamed. My stubbornness has been forced out of me. My pride is useless. And I am simply sad and scared. Yet I still have to do this and wait for the one person out that will look beyond my weaknesses, beyond these awkward letters of text, beyond the internet that separates us, and see the hope that I refuse to let go.

So I ask, would anyone be willing to commission me for art, in exchange for any amount of donation?

I don’t care what is requested of me, I will draw it. I don’t care what I’m paid, even if it’s only a dollar. As long as you’re willing, I will be grateful.

Please message me with the following form if you’re considering lending a hand. And if you’re not, please message me anyway, because if you care, I will at least know my efforts didn’t go to waste. 

Thank you. Really. "

When I read that with the already building-up emotion from watching the movie, that was it man. I'm totally overwhelmed by her honesty - especially in her main page where you can see how she reply the questions/well-wishers one after another. 

I feel horrible, to know that there are still people who are actually struggling to keep a roof on top of their head, in an 'okay' country (I suppose Canada from her bio). It's especially unbearable and humbling to read that in the first-person view, for you usually only see or read things like this in the newspaper. 

I feel horrible for not being able to help out when all she's asking is just....help. She's not even stating an amount, just up to you to give her whatever you could.. What's even more overwhelming on top of it all is her gratefulness and some of those people who are going all out to render support to her ;___; even when they themselves are not too well-off to begin with. 

I feel most horrible to realize how horrible I am. There are people out there fighting to have food in their stomach, to have a roof on top of their head and I'm complaining about having to eat cafe food all the time? Getting upset over that piece of clothing which I should not purchase because it's too expensive? I'm ashamed of myself; of my ungratefulness sometimes. 

Anyway, I wish her all the best, even if she knows nothing about. I wish home will be there for her even if she can't manage to keep the house. ;____;